we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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