took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
