and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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