I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize