What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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