my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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