We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
