Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
