Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
