I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
