No, you can still breathe under the balls.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
