From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
