real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
