Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
