worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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