so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Randomize
