My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
