i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
