I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
