She's JV to your varsity
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
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