Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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