Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
