now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
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