i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
