...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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