What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
