you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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