U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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