i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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