I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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