Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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