I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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