careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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