I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Randomize
