kristin has been a bad kristin
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
