bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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