that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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