You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
