he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
