she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Randomize
