THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
