just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
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I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
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I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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