He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
