Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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