I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
