you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
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I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
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And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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