omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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