I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
