theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize