just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize
