Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Randomize
