There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
