There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
