I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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