i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
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