Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
