and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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