he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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