It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
