i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
