i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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