I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
