So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
