i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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