well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
