he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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