apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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