what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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