did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
