yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
